Everything that Glitters is Gold

ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: I'm not sleeping with him ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: he's got a gf ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: I'm not some sort of.... ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: homewrecker. god. leia Leia Darling [8:32 PM]: that's not a home. thats a sublease. ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: OMG ohnicoleashly [8:33 PM]: hahahahahhaha ohnicoleashly [8:33 PM]: rent to own

There's More to Life than Books, You Know.

Me: I have to write a summary of my first memory, what I think it means and how I feel about men and women in relation to that first memory.

Caroline: My first memory is of dropping a plastic ring in the grass and trying to find it. I don't know what that means, but it sure makes me hate men.

Cahro-liiiih-hine.

Me: She was so mad that I misquoted the lyrics, but I was trying to make them about you.

Caroline: I appreciate that. I like it when people make things about me.

"To quote The Clash, should I stay or should I rock the casbah?"

Why I love the man at "Lost Weekend Video":

Video Store Guy: (to co-worker) I hate when I have a big stack of videos to put back on the shelves and people follow me around asking me if I have such and such movie.

Me: I did that every single day for three weeks because someone wouldn't return the first disc of Californication.

Video Store Guy: I watched the first disc and couldn't wait to watch the second one and the person who had it kept it out way past due so one night after close I called him up and said, "Look, Californication is past due but if you bring it back tonight I'll waive the late fees. If you wait until tomorrow, maybe double."

Me: Ha!

Video Store Guy: The first disc was way better though, the ending on the season was terrible! He gets the girl!?

Me: Yeah, I really wanted him to end up sad and alone.

Video Store Guy: Right!?