These are the things you learn about yourself when you stay up past 4am.

I really, really do not understand why every commercial about achieving financial success involves an older couple painting a chair in their garage.

Or why this quiz I had to take for psychology says that I have low self esteem and a moderate bias towards being sad over being angry.

Or why it is impossible for me to sleep lately.

Barbie Hell House

When you live somewhere long enough, through enough, you start to attach memories to everything, and in a town that never changes that's a dangerous thing. You can get so caught up in those memories that its impossible to make any new ones.

Savannah is starting to seem like a giant doll house to me. It seems to be shrinking every day and I'm seeing it more and more from an ariel perspective. I know exactly when and where to go if I want to see someone. Everyone is always exactly where I left them, doing the same shit, saying the same things waiting for me to come and move them someplace else.

Cahro-liiiih-hine.

Me: She was so mad that I misquoted the lyrics, but I was trying to make them about you.

Caroline: I appreciate that. I like it when people make things about me.

She's the cocaine to my Lindsay Lohan.

Nicole: We're going to get shot in the parking lot of this Kroger and our last words will have been, "Guys should never have bangs."

Me: At least I will have died standing up for something I believe in.

"To quote The Clash, should I stay or should I rock the casbah?"

Why I love the man at "Lost Weekend Video":

Video Store Guy: (to co-worker) I hate when I have a big stack of videos to put back on the shelves and people follow me around asking me if I have such and such movie.

Me: I did that every single day for three weeks because someone wouldn't return the first disc of Californication.

Video Store Guy: I watched the first disc and couldn't wait to watch the second one and the person who had it kept it out way past due so one night after close I called him up and said, "Look, Californication is past due but if you bring it back tonight I'll waive the late fees. If you wait until tomorrow, maybe double."

Me: Ha!

Video Store Guy: The first disc was way better though, the ending on the season was terrible! He gets the girl!?

Me: Yeah, I really wanted him to end up sad and alone.

Video Store Guy: Right!?

You shouldn't play with matches, madmen or magnets.

Yahoo's top story tonight was: ATOM SMASHER TO BE TURNED ON AUGUST 1ST


Then underneath it, it said: Scientists predict it will not suck the Earth into a black hole.

Also it stated that scientists gave it a mere one in 50 million chance of causing a global catastrophy, or the odds of winning the lottery.

Here's the thing- Every month, someone wins the lottery.

Facebook is not a Yearbook

Facebook should just go ahead and rename its "People you may know," application to "People who were in your 10th grade Biology class and you just didn't find interesting enough to keep in contact with, and you probably would have forgotten about altogether until they started popping up on the right hand side of your facebook window every time you sign on," application.

Or that may be too long, I don't know.