Are You Afraid of the Dark?

When I stay up this late lines between the real and imaginary seem to blur. I fall asleep in the morning, I wake up in the afternoon or the evening. I can't remember if thoughts I've had were in real life or in my dreams. I can't sort out whether conversations I recall actually occured or not and if they did, who they were with. I start reading words wrong, reading sentances wrong.

I stay up long after I feel sick and something inside just will not let me go to sleep. Not until morning. Not until its safe.

What's done is done is done is done.

Me: The only thing keeping me from killing someone today is that I really, really don't want to go to jail.

Nicole: Don't let that stop you! You'd go to girl jail, its just like a giant sleepover every night.

Example: It kind of sneaks up on you.

My phone doesn't keep sent text messages. Which is usually only mildly annoying as I can generally remember what I said long enough to understand the response.

The only time its ever severely annoying is when I wake up Saturday morning after having a few cocktails the night before finding messages like, "I agree." in my inbox.

To what, I may never know.

These are the things you learn about yourself when you stay up past 4am.

I really, really do not understand why every commercial about achieving financial success involves an older couple painting a chair in their garage.

Or why this quiz I had to take for psychology says that I have low self esteem and a moderate bias towards being sad over being angry.

Or why it is impossible for me to sleep lately.

Barbie Hell House

When you live somewhere long enough, through enough, you start to attach memories to everything, and in a town that never changes that's a dangerous thing. You can get so caught up in those memories that its impossible to make any new ones.

Savannah is starting to seem like a giant doll house to me. It seems to be shrinking every day and I'm seeing it more and more from an ariel perspective. I know exactly when and where to go if I want to see someone. Everyone is always exactly where I left them, doing the same shit, saying the same things waiting for me to come and move them someplace else.

Cahro-liiiih-hine.

Me: She was so mad that I misquoted the lyrics, but I was trying to make them about you.

Caroline: I appreciate that. I like it when people make things about me.

She's the cocaine to my Lindsay Lohan.

Nicole: We're going to get shot in the parking lot of this Kroger and our last words will have been, "Guys should never have bangs."

Me: At least I will have died standing up for something I believe in.