Happy Assistants Day

Tonight, I walked into Kroger and all of the night employees were huddling around blowing up hundreds of balloons. I asked what they were doing and one guy said that they were making the balloons for his mother's 50th birthday. 

When I said, "But that one says 'I'm sorry,'" he said "Yeah?"

Everything that Glitters is Gold

ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: I'm not sleeping with him ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: he's got a gf ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: I'm not some sort of.... ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: homewrecker. god. leia Leia Darling [8:32 PM]: that's not a home. thats a sublease. ohnicoleashly [8:32 PM]: OMG ohnicoleashly [8:33 PM]: hahahahahhaha ohnicoleashly [8:33 PM]: rent to own

Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury:

Nicole: You are soooo drunk.

Me: Nicole, I'm not a mirror.

I Speak My Own Sins

This summer I:

- Spent two and a half months without a car in San Francisco.
- Wore a coat almost every single day.
- Did a lot of things I "never do."
- Met a whole lot of people that I've been hearing stories about for four years.
- Lived on my own 3/4 of the week and survived.
- Learned the BART like the back of my hand, and rode it almost every day.
- Endured 100 degree weather for a week without air conditioning.
- Almost got to hug a healing nun.
- Met a guy who went to Johnson High School at an international hostel.
- Went to a psychic who requires reservations two months in advance.
- Was in San Francisco when gay marriage was legalized and watched a lot of people get married.
- Kissed Claire at Gay Pride for charity.
- Was a guest of honor at the U.S. Coast Gaurd's Change of Command ceremony and party
- (Sort of) Learned how to swing dance.
- Spent eleven hours at the Bloomingdale's Mall with a pillow and a suitcase.
- Got comp tickets to a costume party at Bondage A Go-Go that was featured on Playboy T.V.
- Learned the name of every single person who worked at the 7/11 in the Mission.
- sat in V.I.P. box seats at a Dresden Dolls concert.
- Went on a road trip for the first time as the driver.
- Spent a weekend stranded in Atlanta after my car broke down on said road trip.
- Sang the lead singer of Panic at the Disco his own song over the phone.
- Took a lot of pictures, but not nearly enough.

There's More to Life than Books, You Know.

Me: I have to write a summary of my first memory, what I think it means and how I feel about men and women in relation to that first memory.

Caroline: My first memory is of dropping a plastic ring in the grass and trying to find it. I don't know what that means, but it sure makes me hate men.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

When I stay up this late lines between the real and imaginary seem to blur. I fall asleep in the morning, I wake up in the afternoon or the evening. I can't remember if thoughts I've had were in real life or in my dreams. I can't sort out whether conversations I recall actually occured or not and if they did, who they were with. I start reading words wrong, reading sentances wrong.

I stay up long after I feel sick and something inside just will not let me go to sleep. Not until morning. Not until its safe.

What's done is done is done is done.

Me: The only thing keeping me from killing someone today is that I really, really don't want to go to jail.

Nicole: Don't let that stop you! You'd go to girl jail, its just like a giant sleepover every night.