My grandmother is a character. Seriously. Once at a party she grandly announced, "Something in this room has been in a boat!" When asked what it was, she couldn't remember. For my eleventh birthday she gave me a beaded tassel.
So, tonight my mom was supposed to go to a gallery opening with her. Just as my mom was about to leave the house, the phone rang. It was my grandmother. In some sort of bizarre mistake, after getting dressed she went to her dresser to spray herself with perfume and sprayed herself with turpentine instead.
And then she no longer wanted to go out because she smelled bad.
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